g r o o v y

Okay so.
I had a homework assignment in which I was supposed to take a scene from a Shakespeare play and change the wording or context.

And I decided to take my scene...

To the 70's.

So this happened:

SEB-BRO

This is, like, the all-up air, yo! And that there, man, that’s the diggidy wiggidy sun. Bruh, that one lady, she, like, handed over this gnarly margarite, bro, it feels so gnarly man! And it’s srs shiny. I’m pretty zazzed rn but like, my dudes, I’m still a cool funky brah! I ain’t batty. Hey, bee-tee-dubbs, where’s my cool funky homeslice breadslice brotato chip neighBROhood dawg man? For realzies?? My totes fresh broski Antonio-homedawg even pulled a for-real no-show at the Elephant, and that ain’t fresh, man! But, like, he’d totes dropped by, and some rad brosephs told me he’d gone AWOL and taken a powder so he could smoke me out. His bum steer would be the bomb diggidy right now, man! There’s prolly some funk that’s gone and goofed, cuz I rly ain’t got a screw loose. But, y’know, YOLO! Ya know what, maybe that lassie’s got bats in the belfry, brah. But like she’s such a super groove-tastic amigo, she can ride herd on the crash pad, lay down the law for her domestics, lend an ear to the hot wire, call the shots, and do a bang-up job for her biz, man, so I don’t think she’s kooky, ya know? There’s something real sicknasty going on here right now, brah, it’s 3spoopy5me. But here come dat boi.

FRESH-LIVVY

Sup my dank broski?? Sorz I went all-up wiggidy lickety split but in this world, it’s sk8 or be sk8. If u ain’t thinking all-up sinful thoughts, yo, then this here homeboy gonna schlepp us into the chapel over there man, and then would I EVER love it if u came and, like, diddly darn said ur vows to me man. Like, we won’t tell the whole world ‘til ur ready, and then we can have a totes radical party with the super-funky vibes that a groovy pal like me deserves. Whaddaya say, materino?

SEB-BRO

I dig it. You do u, my fine pally-pal-bosom-buddy. I ain’t never gonna use my heelies to escape my feelies with ya bro.

FRESH-LIVVY

Then, like, let’s go, daddyo. I’m hoping for the wild blue to be totally vibin’ so I know I chose the right bae, man.


I will give one single point to the first person who can guess which Shakespeare play this is from, and one extra point if you can tell me what's going on here.

BONUS:

HAMLET ON THE FLIP SIDE

Plot: hamlet is this totally fresh cool groovy kid right and his dad is the owner of this shop that sells nothing but bell-bottoms and super cool aviator sunglasses but then one day hamlet’s daddyo chokes on some kool-aid and dies so then his uncle fresh-claud takes over control of the bell-bottoms and aviator sunglasses shop place and starts turning it into the groovy wig shop he’s always wanted it to be. Then fresh cool groovy hamlet is mourning his dad by like putting on fifty pairs of bell-bottoms and suddenly his dead dad’s ghost comes flying out of the bell-bottoms and like is like “hey son the kool-aid had a wig hair in it ur uncle fresh-claud killed me!!!11!!1!!!!one!!” but hamlet’s like “woah u just came out of a pair of pants i can’t trust u man” so to make sure the dad-ghost isnt lying, hamlet holds a play for his uncle (the new store-owner) that replays the murder that the ghost describes. Then he finds out that the ghost was telling the truth and kills everyone. Also theres this ophelia chick whose parents are like U CAN;T DATE THAT MAN HE’S LIKE A BIG HIPPIE AND THEN SHE’S LIKE NO I WANNA EMBRACE THE BELL-BOTTOM LIFE but then her parents are so ashamed by the fact that their daughter is going out in public wearing tie-dye shirts and rainbow bell-bottoms that they all go to a family picnic to try to resolve their issues but then they get into a car crash along the way and they all die. in the meantime fresh-claud is like “woah that girl isn’t wearing any mood-rings man, you can’t date her” and hamlets like “well mood rings are stupid anyway” (R O A S T E D) and throws a mood-ring into fresh-claud’s eyeball and then he finds out that ophelia died so he goes outside to cry and is picked up and thrown in a white van. THE END